Just Marry Me, Ok? !
by Wicked'elphaba-fiyero
Summary: Elphaba is the boss of a huge company, her job is everything, but when her visa is denied,she faces deportation, the only thing left to do is to fake an engagement, and the closest person is her assitant, Fiyero. Based off of the proposal. Fiyeraba
1. Coffee

**(A/N: this is based off of the proposal that movie with sandra bullock, modern day and stuff yeah. I liked the idea and so i wanted to make a wicked fic with the same general plot (minues the sub plot and a few other things in it) anyway, I hope you guys enjoy, and I'll still try to update all of my others. I might just leave this as a sort of trailer for my next project, so that you'll know that when I finish at least one of my other stories, you've got this one to read next. But if you want me to keep updating this one at the same time, tell me. Please review!)**

Elphaba Thropp would like to say she enjoyed her life, her life was satisfactory, her life had been everything she'd ever hoped it to be, she'd reached all of her goals. And she did. She was the boss at only twenty years old of a huge publishing company. She didn't have any family to bother with and friends were completely zero, another drama she didn't need in her life. Her salary was amazing and she lived in a wonderful loft in the center of the Emerald City. And she was the one with the big office. Oh yeah. She was wearing her customary black blouse and black skirt with her black flats, she didn't like heels; they were unrealistic and painful. She always had a company car pick her up in front of her building. She walked outside, and saw the black sleek car parked there, waiting for her.

**********

Meanwhile, Fiyero Tiggular was waking up across the Emerald City in the more...run down parts. His digital clock started beeping madly over and over again. He opened his eyes groggily and looked at the time. Shit! He quickly jumped out of bed and ran to his closet and put on his suit, grabbing his brief case as he ran out the door. He ran down the busy, crowded sidewalks and straight into the starbucks on the corner. There was a long line. Shit again!

"Fiyero! Over here!" Megan called. Fiyero looked up to see her with his daily coffee orders.

"Life saver!" he breathed, picking up the coffee and running back out. He came to the Golden Books office building. He ran inside and dived into an elevator that was already mostly crowded and closing. He knocked someone over and then hit his head on the wall of the elevator.

"Ouch! Ozdammit! Sorry, is everyone alright?" he asked. Nobody said anything, "Good, me too." Fiyero sighed. The doors opened and he ran out. It took him about ten seconds to realize he was on the wrong floor. He started to run back to the elevators, but the doors were closing and the lady inside was pressing the 'close door' button rapidly.

"Oh c'mon lady, I don't have rabies!" Fiyero said. The doors closed and Fiyero went for the emergency fire stairs. He ran up four flights of stairs and finally came to his floor. His floor consisted of about forty cubicles, a secretary's desk and then there was the bosses office.

"One of those days, huh? You're really late." said Oliver as Fiyero walked in.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." said Fiyero, "Please tell me she's not in yet."

"You're lucky she's not, there's bad traffic in the square." said Oliver, "But knowing her, she'll probably yell at everyone till they cry and traffic will clear up like that." Oliver snapped his fingers.

"Knowing her." Fiyero agreed.

"Or she could just stick her hand out the window and all of the cars will think it means go." Sydney shrugged. Everyone laughed at that. Fiyero made his way over to his cubicle when he ran into an intern. One of the coffee cups spilled and went everywhere.

"Really?!" Fiyero yelled at him, "Really man? Look at my shirt!" his white shirt as completely covered in coffee.

"Uh, sorry Mr. Tiggular." said the intern.

"Don't Mr. Tiggular me!" Fiyero yelled, "Ozdammit, you know, what give me your shirt."

"What?!"

"You ruined this one, give me yours." said Fiyero.

"But I--" began the intern.

"I'll have you fired if you do not give me your shirt." said Fiyero, "I will tell the boss that you were the one that cancelled the call when J.K Rowling called about publishing her book, so there for you are the reason that damn Scholastic Inc. stole our thunder because you were the one that hung up on J.K Rowling and her billion dollar Harry Potter books. And if I tell the boss that, she will do more than fire you--" the intern was already taking his shirt off.

"Well what am I going to wear?" asked the intern.

"You will wear this shirt that you spilled coffee on after I change out of it, in the mean time you can walk around wearing nothing, the chest of shame because you spilled the bosses coffee and now I have to give her mine." said Fiyero. Fiyero snatched the shirt and walked away, he really was not in a very good mood today. As soon as he sat down in his chair, his computer beeped and a message came on the screen: she's here! Shit for the third time! Fiyero quickly flung off the coffee shirt and put on the clean white one from the intern. He put his jacket on over it and straightened his tie. Everyone else was shoving magazines beneath their desks or closing computer games on their computers and the intern was running around wildly looking for a shirt.

************

Elphaba walked into the office calmly, even though she was still a little pissed about the morning traffic. Fiyero never would admit it, but he thought she was actually a rather beautiful woman—no, girl. She was just a girl, but she was the boss of this major incorporation. She must have really worked hard for this.

"Remind me why we're all so scared of her?" murmured Fiyero to himself. She started walking to her office when she saw an intern without his shirt. She stopped in her tracks and stared at him. And he froze, scared out of his wits.

"Oh, that's why." Fiyero muttered.

"Tell Mr. Acapul, how old are you?" asked Elphaba.

"Um...24...." the intern said nervously.

"That's right, and how many 24 year olds do you know that come to work without a shirt?"

"Um..."

"It's probably about the same percentage of 24 years olds that are still interns because they couldn't get a real job. And here, we do not have time for those who are categorized in the lowest statistics possible, so I will give you two hours to clear up your cubicle and leave. And I will give you a word of advice, not to start all of your sentences with 'um'." she said and continued on into her office. The intern looked like he'd gone into shock. He stood there blinking a couple times before turning around and going to his cubicle to clear it out. Fiyero smirked and picked up the only full cup of coffee left and went into Elphaba's office. She was sitting at her desk which had at least five large manuscripts on it. Her office was very large and modern with an expensive air about it. The carpet was so white it always made you think you had to take your shoes off to step onto it. Fiyero handed her the coffee.

"You're coffee." he said, standing by her desk. She took the coffee.

"Thank you Fiyero." she said, not looking at him. Fiyero nodded and started to walk out, when she stopped him, "Would you mind telling me why my coffee has: Jillian, call me 816-938-2938?"

"Oh..." Fiyero said, "That's actually, my coffee."

"Mind telling me why I'm drinking your coffee?" asked Elphaba.

"Because..." Fiyero considered coming up with some clever lie to make himself sound less incredibly idiotic, he couldn't believe he was squirming beneath his twenty year old boss, how pathetic. Fiyero finally realized all he could do was tell her the idiotic truth, "...you're coffee spilled."

"So you've given me yours?" asked Elphaba. Fiyero nodded, "That's right." Elphaba took a sip.

"Hmm." she said thoughtfully, "You drink coffee with a dash of cinnamon and apple and exactly two packets of sweetner too?"

"Yes." said Fiyero, "Because it would be very pathetic if I were to get myself the exact same coffee as you because every day I would be afraid that you're coffee would spill and I would want to make sure you still had your coffee to drink. Yes, that would just be very pathetic and it just so happens that I drink the exact same coffee as you and I have for five years."

"Uh huh." Elphaba smirked, taking another sip of coffee. Fiyero nodded again awkwardly and quickly got out of her office. Ten minutes later, Elphaba walked out of her office and into the one next to her. Three minutes after that, she walked back out and was almost to her office when Henry walked out of his office looking really mad.

"You can't fire me!" he shouted. Elphaba stopped just short of her office and rolled her eyes and turned around to face Henry.

"Go ahead Henry," she said, an impatient, almost amused look on her face.

"You can't fire me! You treat us all like your little slaves because you have no life outside of this office! You are a cold hearted bitch!" he yelled, pointing a satisfied at her. Everyone in the office ooed. Elphaba smiled at him, not nicely and walked towards him.

"Henry, you are forty six years old, I would think someone of your age, would've been smarter than this. I told you I'd give you two months here to find a job, but now you've gone and ruined that deal. So you will be _escorted_ out of the building by security and I'll have Fiyero here get in on video and then put it on that little internet site," she turned to Fiyero.

"Youtube." Fiyero said.

"Youtube." Elphaba nodded. Henry looked like his plan just backfired in his face. He quickly ran back into his office.

"Five, four, three, two--" Elphaba began the countdown and right at one, Henry ran out of his office again with a cardboard box with all his crap in it and he ran to the elevator. Elphaba nodded and continued on her way to another office.

*************

"You needed me?" Elphaba asked the Mr. Jeris and Mr. Davis, they were _her_ bosses.

"Ah yes, Elphaba," said Mr. Davis, "You see, you're visa just came back and it's been denied."

"What?"

"You're being deported."

"What? It's not like I'm an—an immigrant! I'm from—Munchkinland, it's not like I came here with swine flu and a hardly understandably accent. I'm a Munchkinlander." said Elphaba.

"Either way." said Mr. Davis, "You're being deported."

"Oh, well, that's fine—I can still work for Golden Books, you know, meeting vie satellite, yeah, it'll work." said Elphaba.

"Actually, without a visa, you can't work for any company in the Emerald City." said Mr. Jeris.

"But--"

"Elphaba, you don't know how much we want you to stay, you're the best, but there's no way around this. We're giving your job to Henry." said Mr. Davis gently.

"Henry?!" Elphaba almost yelled, "You mean the guy I just fired?!" Just then the door opened and Fiyero stuck his head in.

"Um...you got a call from the Wizard, but I told him you'd call him back because you were otherwise...engaged." said Fiyero. Elphaba stared at him. Engaged. She motioned for him to come inside. He came in awkwardly.

"You see, actually this whole deportation thing, won't be a problem." said Elphaba, "Because, ah, Fiyero and I are...getting married."

"Whose getting married?" asked Fiyero.

"We are." said Elphaba, "We are....getting married."

"Getting married...we are." Fiyero muttered in shock, what?!

"Isn't he your secretary?" asked Mr. Davis.

"Uh...no, he's my...assistant." said Elphaba, "And besides, it wouldn't be the first time one of us fell for our secretary's." she gave Mr. Jeris a pointed look.

"Married...wha??" Fiyero was asking.

"We...uh...tried to fight it, but you...uh, can't fight a love like ours." Elphaba patted his shoulder and Fiyero just stared blankly ahead, lost in shock. Elphaba took a step away from Fiyero as though he were the swine flu infested immigrate she was just talking about. She looked at her bosses, "So, uh, we're good right?" she asked.

"Make it legal and we'll pretend this whole thing never happened." said Mr. Davis.


	2. Poobear?

**(A/N: ok, so I decided to just go ahead and write for this one too, tackle about four active stories at once. I might not update this frequently, but I will probably keep updating if you like this story. Thanks if you reviewed and yeah, so read this and review!)**

"Did I date you?" asked Fiyero dazedly as he followed Elphaba out of the office, "Because I think I would remember if I did..."

"No, we've never dated." Elphaba rolled her eyes, "But we're getting married."

"Huh?" asked Fiyero dumbly. Already, the word had spread to every cubicle. Everyone had gotten the message on their IM screen: Fiyero is getting married to the boss! As Fiyero followed Elphaba in a daze, his coworkers gave him thumbs up and jeered. Fiyero confusedly returned the thumbs up as he kept walking. Suddenly, there was a wall in front of him and he ran straight into it.

"OZ DAMMIT!" he shouted, rubbing his head, "WHO _PUT_ THAT THERE?!" he yelled at the wall, gesturing wildly at it.

"Fiyero!" Elphaba hissed, "Stop running into walls and yelling at them for it! The wall has always been there, I have to talk to you!"

"_You_ have to talk to _me_?" asked Fiyero, feigning shock, "What about I wonder? It couldn't be our undying LOVE for one another, or our MARRIAGE, could it?!" Elphaba grabbed him by the tie and pulled him into her office.

"Oooh, they're going to get busy with it!" Oliver yelled and everyone cheered and made cat calls. Elphaba sighed deeply when she closed the door, pushing Fiyero into one of the chairs while she leaned against the door, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. She opened her eyes again and sighed as she looked at him.

"Ok, here's the thing, you're going to marry me so that I won't get deported." said Elphaba.

"I am?" asked Fiyero.

"You are." Elphaba said.

"I am?" asked Fiyero again.

"Yes, you are." Elphaba said impatiently.

"Really?" asked Fiyero.

"Yes."

"Oh, ok." said Fiyero shrugging...., "Wait, what?! I'm not going to marry you!"

"If you don't marry me, I'll get deported and with Henry as the new boss, the first thing he's going to do is fire you because you were the one that was going to put his firing tape on, what was it called?"

"Youtube."

"Yes, youtube. I don't know why everyone's so scared of being put on youtube, it's not like anyone knows about that site anyway. So anyway," said Elphaba, "that means that everything you worked for will just go straight down the toilet."

"But I can't _marry_ you!" Fiyero objected, "Y-you're--"

"Green?"

"MY BOSS!" said Fiyero, "I can't marry my boss, you scare the shit out of me!"

"I do?" Elphaba quirked an eyebrow and smirked at him.

"No." said Fiyero, did I really just admit that?!

"Anyway, we're going to go down to the immigrant place or whatever and get a fiancé visa or whatever they call it." she said, texting someone on her cellphone.

"We are?"

"Yes."

"Really."

"Yes."

"We are?"

"YES!"

*************

Elphaba walked into the visa place, dragging Fiyero behind her. The line was ridiculously long. Elphaba sighed deeply and walked straight to the front of the line.

"Excuse me," she said, "I just need to ask him a question." she went to the man at the front.

"Um, Elphaba, there's a line..." Fiyero murmured.

"Here," Elphaba handed the man at the front a stack of papers, "I need to apply for an engagement visa or whatever, so if you would just file that." she said, not looking at him, concentrating on checking her email from her phone. The man looked at them curiously.

"You better follow me." he said, taking them to the back of the building.

"Is this going to take long?" asked Elphaba, "I have a meeting in thirty minutes."

"It will take as long as it needs to, but if you have other engagements, you can just leave." said the man. Elphaba rolled her eyes and Fiyero gulped nervously. They were led into a room, a small office that Elphaba thought resembled a storage closet, if not for the cluttered desk. They sat down in the two chairs.

"Hi, my name's William," said the man at the desk, a skinny man with a mean look on his face, "Alright let's cut to the chase. You don't happen to be the boss of Golden Books who's visa was denied so you are faking an engagement to him so that you can keep your job so that Henry won't take it?"

"What?" asked Elphaba and Fiyero, laughing nervously and sitting back in their chairs as though hearing a great joke.

"Where-where would you get that story?" asked Elphaba, laughing.

"Henry." said William.

"I don't know _Henry_." said Elphaba, she thought about using her age oddity to her advantage, "And besides, I'm _twenty_, I'm not old enough to be the boss of Golden Books."

"He also said that you might use your young age to your advantage." said William, "He also mentioned you were green."

"Well, Henry's just mad because I fired him this morning." said Elphaba, "I never knew he was so revenge prone."

"Well, to prove that you are a real couple, we will ask everyone you know, neighbors, coworkers, family members, friends, _everyone_ about you and if you haven't been a couple, and this isn't real, then you Miss Thropp will be deported and you Mister Tiggular will face up to five years in federal prison." said William, grinning evilly as though he'd given this speech a million times and he knew they were going to crack. Elphaba looked at Fiyero, wondering if he would go so far for her.

"Um actually sir," said Fiyero finally making the decision to stick with Elphaba, he had an idea, "Nobody knows about our relationship. You see, Elphaba was just about to give me a promotion, _editor_ actually, and we thought it would just look wrong if she gave someone she was having an affair with a promotion."

"Oh." said William, looking deflated, "And you haven't told your families about this secret affair either?"

"Mine are dead." Elphaba shrugged, "Every last one of them...just popped off." Elphaba made a popping sound shaking her head with fake grief.

"And yours?" asked William to Fiyero.

"Oh him?" asked Elphaba, "His family is very much alive, aren't they honey. We were actually going to tell them this weekend." Elphaba continued, "Yes, it's his Grandma's 90th birthday, and we were going to go surprise them and celebrate it with his family."

"Oh, and where does Fiyero's family live?" asked William.

"His family lives in...ah, oh it's on the tip of my tongue." Elphaba said. She glared at Fiyero, "Honey, why am I doing all the talking? They're _your_ family." Fiyero smirked at her.

"My family lives in Arjik." said Fiyero, smiling to himself, awaiting her answer.

"Yep, good all Arjik which is in--"

"The Vinkus." Fiyero said.

"The Vinkus?!" Elphaba barely hid her shock, the Vinkus was _SO FAR AWAY_. Fiyero had to cover his face to hide his laughter at the look on her face.

"So you're travelling to the Vinkus only for a weekend?" asked William skeptically.

"Actually we're staying there a bit longer." said Fiyero, this was the perfect way to extra vacation days in, the perfect way to get back to his family, say hi to his mom, "Maybe two weeks? That sound about right _sweetheart_?"

"Two weeks?!" Elphaba's eyes widened, "Don't you think that's a bit much _pookie_?"

"Of course not, _poobear_." Fiyero hissed.

"I'm not staying in the Vinkus for two or more weeks, _love_." Elphaba said, standing up. Fiyero stood up too.

"Yes you are _darling_." he said, he'd never stood up to his boss like this! It was so fun!

"No I'm not _handsome_." Elphaba said, taking a step closer to him.

"We already agreed on this last night, remember _gorgeous_?" he took a step closer to her too.

"I wasn't with you last night _honeykins_." said Elphaba, stepping closer so she was right in front of him.

"Don't you remember? Silk sheets, rose petals, the _Marriot _for Oz sakes, _sweetheart_." said Fiyero, they were now pressed up against each other, glaring at each other. Fiyero had to look down at her and she had to look up at him. Fiyero had never realized how small she was until now when he was.... right...up...against her. Whoa, was it just him, or was the room getting hotter?

"You already used that one _Fiyero_." she said icily.

"Ok, if you guys are going to go for it, rather not be in my office." said William, smirking, "So two weeks or more in the Vinkus?"

"Yes." said Fiyero.

"Fine." said Elphaba, sitting back down. Fiyero followed suit.

"Since nobody knows about your pending love, when you come back, you'll both be split into two different room and questioned. I'll ask you everything every real couple would know about each other, and if you're answers don't match, prison for you Tiggular and deportation for you Thropp." said William. He handed Fiyero a large book.

"What's this?" asked Fiyero.

"The questions you'll be asked, I suggest you study that."

**************

Elphaba stormed out of the building.

"I can't stay in the Vinkus for two weeks!" she yelled at Fiyero, "I've got meetings and work--"

"Elphaba, you should just be happy I'm agreeing to marry you!" Fiyero yelled back, "I face five friggin' years in federal prison if we get figured out! I think I'm putting a lot on the line for you!"

"Fine." Elphaba sulked, "Two weeks though?"

"Look at all of these questions!" Fiyero held up the book, "I think we're going to have to spend at least a_ little _bit of time with each other! And thanks for the promotion."

"What promotion?!" asked Elphaba.

"I'm editor now, remember?" asked Fiyero.

"No you're not!"

"Am too, remember? That's why we couldn't tell each other about our love affair." he said.

"You seriously think I'm giving you the promotion?" Elphaba asked.

"Hey, I don't have a problem with you getting deported back to Munchkinland, so yeah, I think I'm getting the promotion." said Fiyero.

"Fine." Elphaba growled, "You can have the promotion...when we get back. When do we leave?" asked Elphaba.

"I will meet you at the airport tomorrow at seven." said Fiyero, "You get the tickets."

"Me?" asked Elphaba, "You're the man!"

"You proposed to _me_ though." Fiyero pointed out.

"I didn't _propose_ to you." Elphaba snapped.

"Well I certainly didn't get down on one knee and pop the question while gazing into your eyes lovingly!" Fiyero snapped right back.

"I think I liked you better when we weren't engaged." Elphaba muttered, "You didn't talk back!"

"Well I still _dislike_ you all the same." Fiyero said, "But hey, maybe there's an advantage to being your freaking fiancé. For one, I'm not scared shitless of you, and so I don't have to follow your orders because there's no way in hell you're going to fire me now! So don't even try to order me around anymore--"

"Ugh, just get me a coffee!" Elphaba yelled at him, rubbing her temples.

"Right away ma'am." said Fiyero, scared shitless.

**(A/N: oh and thanks to gilgrissomlover and dg4g for already favoriting!)**


	3. Friggin' Sandwiches

**(A/N: sorry for not update you guys! but for my brilliantascious excuse, see "Cursed" or "He's a She?" authors notes or my profile page, i explain it in long rants. Now, on with the story!) review if you feel like being awesome today! jk jk**

To: Fiyero

From: Elphaba

Be at the airport tomorrow at 8:30, Gate 45

A text, she _texted_ him! Oz, this girl really didn't want much to do with him even though they were 'engaged'. Ugh, how did he get into this mess! Why couldn't Elphaba be from the Emerald City? And besides, Munchkinland wasn't that far away, it wasn't like she was a _real_ immigrant! Fiyero cursed the government and all its crap again. He was on youtube at the moment, watching Henry getting fired, it was rather amusing. Well, he'd technically just watched five guys get brutally arrested for assisting an immigrant; he needed to watch something lighter. Fiyero sighed and dragged his hands down his face before heading out to the court to play a game of basketball with his friends before going off to the Vinkus tomorrow.

"Hey! There he is, the man of the day!" said Oliver as Fiyero walked onto the court.

"Look, I don't really want to talk about it right now." said Fiyero, taking the basketball from Oliver.

"Oooh." Oliver and the other guys mocked him, "You're not even married yet and you're already fighting, that's not a good sign man. Hey, I'll be taking your computer when she fires you."

"We haven't been fighting, and she's not going to fire me." said Fiyero, resisting the urge to rub it in all their faces that he was in fact, getting promoted. He took a shot at the hoop and made it.

"Dude, I can tell you're stressed because you just made that shot....and you're not very good at basketball unless you're pissed." said Oliver, "You need some beer."

"Look, Oliver," Fiyero began, he looked at the other guys pointedly and they walked away awkwardly, Fiyero turned back to Oliver, "Yo, I gotta tell you sum'n' and you havta promise not ta tell no one, dawg."

"Dude, why are you talking like that?" asked Oliver.

"Like what?"

"Like you carry drugs to work and not a briefcase. And you just called me dawg..." said Oliver.

"Ugh! I just watched this wicked gangster movie and they talk like that the _whole time_! You know how if I'm talking to like...a southern girl with an accent I end up talking in her accent and then I get slapped because she thinks I'm mocking her--" Fiyero began.

"Ok dude, shut up and tell me what you were going to!" Oliver interrupted.

"I was getting to that dude!" said Fiyero.

"Are you mocking me?!" asked Oliver.

"Um no...." said Fiyero, "Anyway, what I have to tell you is that Elphaba and I are not romantically 'together' if you know what I mean."

"Huh?"

"Ok, she was going to get deported because she's actually from Munchkinland and she really didn't want to lose her job and stuff so she was all 'I'm marrying Fiyero' and I was all 'what?!' and she was all 'yes, we are getting married' and I was like 'what?!' and she was all 'we're in love' and I was like 'what?!'--"

"Wait, so Elphaba is like...engaged herself to you so that she can keep her job?" asked Oliver.

"Yeah, pretty much." said Fiyero, "And then we got dragged down to the federal immigration visa building or whatever they call it and the guy thought we were lying so that she could keep her job because Henry snitched on us and then we had to make some story up and then he said that when we get back from the Vinkus they're going to test us and if we're lying then she gets deported and I face up to five friggin' years in federal prison!"

"Fiyero, you should've said no!" said Oliver.

"I know, but she worked really hard for this job and--" Fiyero began.

"Wait, I thought you said you two didn't love each other..." said Oliver.

"We don't."

"Then why do you care so much about how hard she worked? You hate her! You've been waiting for her to leave since day one." said Oliver.

"I don't _hate_ her!" Fiyero said, suddenly feeling defensive.

"So you _love_ her?!" asked Oliver.

"No!"

"Dude, this is some crazy shit you got yourself into." said Oliver.

"You don't think I know that?!" asked Fiyero, "We've got to memorize at least a thousand facts about one another from this giant book the guy down at federal gave me. We're going to the Vinkus tomorrow, we'll stay 2 weeks at the least."

"Two weeks, huh?" asked Oliver, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh shut up." said Fiyero.

**********

Elphaba had already dropped her luggage off at the luggage drop off place. She was waiting for Fiyero at the airport at Gate 45. She sat in one of the chairs, watching the national news. It was rather dull actually. She really needed her coffee about now. She looked up when she heard yelling. Fiyero was at security, arguing with the security woman.

"What do you mean I can't bring this on the plane?!" asked Fiyero, holding his sandwich.

"I mean exactly what I say! That's more than the maximum ounces." said the security woman.

"Oh my Oz." Elphaba sighed and put her head in her hands. She stood up and walked over to the scene, standing at the opposite side of the metal detector.

"Fiyero, just leave the sandwich." said Elphaba.

"But I'm hungry!" Fiyero said. The people behind Fiyero in the line were getting impatient. Fiyero made a decision right then and there, a hunger changing decision. He looked slowly from the sandwich to the security lady to Elphaba before stuffing the whole thing in his mouth, no way in Oz was he wasting a perfectly good sandwich because some security guard with something stuck up her ass wouldn't let him take it past security.

"Oh c'mon man! You're eating the wrappings!" someone in the line shouted.

"Shub ub!" Fiyero yelled with his mouth full and threw the wrapping at the guy. Fiyero went through the metal detector and grabbed his bag which had come through on the other side. Elphaba couldn't decide whether to laugh or hit him. She just rolled her eyes.

"Men." she sighed as she walked back to her seat. Fiyero followed her, still chewing that sandwich. They sat down together and didn't speak to one another, mostly because it was taking Fiyero an immense amount of time to chew the sandwich. Finally, he swallowed it.

"Ah." said Fiyero satisfactorily, "That was pretty tasty if I do say so myself."

"There will be food on the plane you know." said Elphaba.

"Yeah, plane peanuts." said Fiyero, shuddering, "I hate nuts."

"You didn't think we'd be flying all the way to friggin' Arjik in coach did you? I got as first class tickets." said Elphaba as though it should have been obvious.

"First class? Well, _faaaancy_." said Fiyero, then just registering what else she had said, "Wait...did you just say friggin'?"

"So?" said Elphaba, "It's not like you never say it." she defended herself.

"Exactly," said Fiyero, "_I_ say friggin'."

"Oh really now?" said Elphaba, raising an amused eyebrow.

"Yeah, that's _my_ friggin' word." said Fiyero. Elphaba couldn't help but laugh. Fiyero smiled, he liked making her laugh. He couldn't recall ever seeing her laugh before, it was really--

"Flight to Arjik will now board, flight to Arjik will now board." the intercom interrupted his thoughts, and Fiyero was glad of that.


	4. Lovely Shutting Up

**(A/N: HULO! thanku for reviewing or favoriting or alerting if you did. I got 8 reviews for that last chapter! Wow! (it may not be alot to you, but it is to me) I'm sorry to say, but this chapter is a bit short, but I didn't want to plunge into the next part because then it'd be way to long and scrambled. Hopefully I'll get another update to you guys soon. If you review...jk jk, but reviews are always nice! :)**

Elphaba and Fiyero sat together on the plane uneasily. Fiyero could only dream of other places he could be, other _people_ he could be sitting by. Elphaba looked away from Fiyero, examining the arm of the chair. Fiyero sighed heavily, trying to get her to say something because he was bored. She ignored him, so Fiyero sighed louder. She still ignored him.

"I just sighed." Fiyero sighed.

"So?" said Elphaba.

"And you ignored me." said Fiyero, "So then I sighed louder and you ignored me."

"Well what do you want Fiyero?" Elphaba snapped, "I don't have time to interpret what every sigh means or whatever volume indicates what."

"Well _sorry_." said Fiyero sarcastically.

"You know, I could really do without the sarcasm." Elphaba sighed.

"Yeah, coming from the queen of sarcasm herself." Fiyero muttered.

"Haha, you're so funny." Elphaba muttered sarcastically.

"You know, I could really do without the sarcasm." Fiyero mimicked her.

"You know what would be really lovely? You shutting up, that's what." Elphaba snapped.

"Well who knew such a word like '_lovely'_ was in your vocabulary? You know, I don't think you should use lovely and shut up in the same sentence, they just don't click together, you know, like say you and I. We don't click together. Hey, here's an idea, you can be the 'shut up' in our relationship and I can be the 'lovely', how does that sound?" asked Fiyero irritably, though he thought himself very clever at the moment.

"Well who knew the word vocabulary was in your vocabulary?" Elphaba snapped, "And you can stop trying to sound clever because I used lovely and shut up in two separate sentences."

"Well usually when one starts a new sentence, they pause in between." Fiyero muttered, not feeling very clever anymore.

"I did leave a pause, a very definite pause in between the two sentences." said Elphaba.

"Well leave longer pauses!" Fiyero said.

"What are you, the sentence differentiate police?" asked Elphaba.

"As a matter of fact I _am_." Fiyero said, crossing his arms, looking much alike a four year old who didn't get his way. Elphaba had to laugh at that. Fiyero rolled his eyes irritably, "Ok you know what, if you're just going to laugh at me, I'm not going to talk to you the rest of this flight."

"Oh, are you giving _me_ the silent treatment?" asked Elphaba, laughing, "Isn't that what the girl usually does?"

"Well someone has to be the girl in this relationship." Fiyero mumbled. Elphaba laughed harder.

"You just gave me ultimate power in this relationship." she laughed.

"Oh shut up." Fiyero snapped, "Let's look at this giant question book shit." he pulled the giant book out of his bag and started rifling through the pages. He finally stopped on a page, "Oh, here's a good one, do you have any scars?"

"Skip." Elphaba said.

"There's no skips." said Fiyero.

"Now there are." said Elphaba.

"You're going to have to tell me Elphaba." said Fiyero.

"We're skipping that question." said Elphaba, looking away from him. She took the book from Fiyero and rifled through the pages herself, "Ok...do we stay at your place or mine?"

"Mine." said Fiyero.

"No, we stay at mine." said Elphaba.

"But I'm the man, we stay at my place." said Fiyero.

"Weren't you just saying that someone had to be the girl in this relationship?" asked Elphaba, "Remember? I have ultimate power in this relationship."

"I changed my mind." Fiyero said, "You can be the girl again."

"Oh, were you sick of wearing skirts and heels?" Elphaba smirked, "They weren't very flattering on you dear. Although the lipstick did wonders."

"Haha." Fiyero muttered.

"Weren't you just saying how you hated sarcasm?" Elphaba raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't we reflective today." Fiyero grumbled, "Why don't you just ask me another question."

"Fine." Elphaba pursed her lips and looked back at the book, "Are you a good dancer?"

"I'm a wonderful dancer." said Fiyero cockily, "Are you a good dancer?"

"I don't dance." Elphaba said.

"Fair enough." Fiyero shrugged and looked over her shoulder at the book, "What is your happiest childhood memory?"

"I don't have any." said Elphaba coldly.

"Not one?" asked Fiyero.

"No." Elphaba said, her tone flat and unfeeling. Fiyero suddenly became very concerned when he noticed her eyes began to get glassy with moisture.

"Elphaba, are you alright?" asked Fiyero softly, all bitterness gone from his voice.

"Fine." Elphaba said, quickly wiping at her eyes. Fiyero sighed, but didn't push any further.


	5. The Story

**(A/N: Sorry guys, I've been working on my stupid summer assignment for school and reading "To Kill a Mockingbird" which is a great book. My school went all lazy on my and cancelled the orientation so they're sendind my schedule to me in the mail which sucks because that means I probably won't ever get it and then on teh first day I won't get to any classes and I will be royally pissed. Anyway, this is a long update for me anyway and I hope it is satisfactory. If you've seen the movie, then you will be well acquainted wtih the wierd guy, Ramone, I'm not going to make his character like that at all. It will be more serious and less foolish, sorry to disappoint, but at some point the goofiness gets too silly for me to right. I'm not like a REALLLY, really, realy serious person, but sometimes stuff like that just is too...silly for me if you kow what I mean. I can't write stories with so littel substance that the plot it petty, so sorry if you were looking forward to a Ramone based characte.)**

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"No YOU shut up!"

"Make me!"

"No way in hell am I touching _your_ mouth!"

"Oh you know you want to!"

"You wish!"

"No You wish!"

"Just shut up!"

"No YOU shut up!"

****************

"And this is how we end up in coach." Elphaba grumbled.

"Well maybe if you'd just shut up--" Fiyero began.

"HEY!" the flight attendant yelled, "You want me to put you in cargo?!" Elphaba and Fiyero both shut up and settled for glaring at the flight attendant and then at each other.

"This is all your fault!" Elphaba hissed quietly.

"Me? You're the one who hit me in the face!"

"I didn't hit you, I just high fived your face."

"Haha." Fiyero murmured sarcastically.

"Oh shut up with the sarcasm, you suck at it." said Elphaba.

"Do I?" asked Fiyero, "Would you prefer a giddy Fiyero?"

"I'd prefer a silent Fiyero." Elphaba snapped.

"And I'd prefer to be engaged to someone who didn't want to bite my head off!"

"Attention passengers, we will be landing shortly, please turn off all electrical devices, and thank you for choosing Pacific Airliner." announced the attendant over the intercom.

"THANK OZ!" Fiyero and Elphaba shouted.

*************

Fiyero was immediately greeted as he walked off the plane by the sight of his grandma, Caroline and mom, Lisa holding up huge signs that said: WELCOME BACK FIYERO! WE MISSED YOU JACKASS Fiyero smirked, that was just like his grandma and mom. He didn't wait for Elphaba and headed off to meet them. They cheered and waved their signs higher.

"Welcome home jackass!" they laughed.

"Good to see you too!" he chuckled and gave them both hugs, leaning down to reach his grandma.

"Where's the woman you brought with you?" asked Caroline excitedly, "I can't wait to meet her." Fiyero turned around and looked for Elphaba.

"Elphaba?" he asked. He didn't see her. He looked down, "Oh! There you are, honey." Elphaba glared at him.

"Well she's no woman…" Caroline remarked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Elphaba.

"How old are you anyway?" asked Caroline, "16?"

"I'm 20." Elphaba snapped.

"Oh, well do you prefer Elphaba or she-devil?" asked Caroline.

"Caroline!" Lisa exclaimed.

"Well, I've heard it both ways!" Caroline chuckled, defending herself. Fiyero and Lisa joined in hesitantly, trying to lighten the atmosphere. Elphaba just glared at Fiyero.

"Oh you're son is just so funny." she said sickly sweetly. Fiyero grimaced and offered her a peace offering worthy smile. She wasn't taking it.

"Hey, um, why don't we head over to the docks?" said Lisa. They agreed and followed Lisa to her car. They piled in and put Fiyero and Elphaba's suitcases in the trunk. As they drove through town, everyone seemed to be waving at Fiyero, there was a lot of fainting going on in the teenage girl department. Elphaba nudged Fiyero and he didn't respond, probably getting back at her for the whole 'sigh' thing on the plane earlier. So she decided to not give him the satisfaction and high-five his face again.

"Ow!" Fiyero exclaimed, turning to glare at her.

"I didn't realize you were such an icon here." she growled.

"Oh, he's probably just being modest." said Caroline from the front passenger seat, "Fiyero's next in line for the Vinkun throne."

"So that makes him…?"

"A prince." Lisa chuckled, "I'm surprised he didn't tell you."

"Me too." Elphaba said, glaring at Fiyero. Fiyero avoided her death glare at waved back sheepishly at some of the people. They finally got to the docks and started to unload the truck.

"Hey, why are we stopping here?" asked Elphaba, "Shouldn't I be checking into a hotel or something?"

"Oh honey, you can stay with us, we already cancelled your reservations." said Lisa.

"Cancelled my reservations?" asked Elphaba.

"Why would you do that?" asked Fiyero and Elphaba at the same.

"C'mon, let's get in the boat!" Caroline said, interrupting them all. They walked over to the ladder leading down to sea level where the boat was. Lisa and Caroline were down there, waiting for Fiyero and Elphaba to join them. Fiyero climbed down and turned around to offer Elphaba gentlemanly help in front of his mother and grandmother.

"I'm not getting in that boat." Elphaba hissed. Fiyero gave her an incredulous look and Elphaba continued, "You know I can't swim." Fiyero gave her an even more incredulous look.

"Hence, the _boat_!" he rolled his eyes.

"Fine." Elphaba hissed and started to make her way down the ladder. Fiyero decided to give her a 'helping hand' and placed his hand on her to 'assist' her. She froze as she felt him touch her, "Get your hand off my ass right now." she said through her teeth.

"I'm just trying to help." Fiyero grinned.

"Get your fucking hand off my ass." she warned darkly and he resigned.

"Fine, fine." he surrendered, though his victory grin was still plastered on her face. She resisted slapping it off as they climbed into the boat.

The boat ride was about a 10 minute ride to the island that Fiyero lived on. As they walked across the dock to the giant mansion, Elphaba and Fiyero trailed behind.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a prince?" she hissed.

"I didn't say I was a pauper, you just assumed I wasn't a prince, your own fault really." Fiyero said.

"Ok you know what, Kings and Queens barely even exist in this modern day's culture." said Elphaba.

"Not my fault you didn't do your research." Fiyero tutted and walked ahead of her. As they neared the courtyards, they saw a whole mess of people swarming about and people arriving still, "Uh, mom, what's going on?" asked Fiyero.

"Oh, we decided to through you a sort of welcoming home party if you will." Lisa called as they walked across the courtyards.

"Fiyero! Hey!" a girl squealed. Fiyero waved back dismissively, but it still sent the girl into a seizure of giggles. Elphaba rolled her eyes. She eyes all of the guests, yeah, a party was really what she needed. She followed Fiyero into the house and saw that even more people were cluttered inside the giant house. It was a mildly casual party, so people wore jeans and such. Elphaba had never tried to wear jeans, they looked terrible against her green skin. So she just opted for her normal black skirt, blouse and flats. Fiyero was greeted by an enormous amount of fans no doubt and millions of friends. They all gave her peculiar looks, but at least they weren't disgusted. She murmured hello's to people that bothered to acknowledge her presence.

"Fiyero? Hey!" a beautiful girl with blonde hair came up to Fiyero. Fiyero looked really surprised.

"Galinda?" he asked, "Oz, it's been a long time. It's great to see you!" he gave her a hug. Galinda looked pointedly at Elphaba and Fiyero suddenly remembered she was there, "Oh!" he exclaimed, turning to Elphaba, "Um, Galinda this is Elphaba, Elphaba this is Galinda, my…uh…ex-girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you." Elphaba said, shaking Galinda's hand.

"Yes, it's a pleasure." Galinda said to Elphaba, still smiling. Fiyero excused himself to go get something to drink and Galinda ran off to go find some kid she was babysitting. Elphaba went off to find a corner she could hide in.

Fiyero greeted people he hadn't seen in ages. He met up with old high school friends and what not. He was in the middle of talking the Mrs. Crawford when he heard his dad.

"Fiyero Tiggular, who ever thought we'd see your face again in the Vinkus?" was his father's greeting. Fiyero turned around.

"Dad, it's good to see you to." Fiyero muttered sarcastically. They shook hands awkwardly and distantly.

"So how's work in the Emerald City?" asked his father, Dirk sarcastically, he obviously couldn't care less.

"It's great Dad." said Fiyero, not wanting to made a fool of in front of practically everyone he knew.

"Is it?" Dirk smirked, "I'm sure it is." Fiyero located Elphaba then and pulled her over quickly, mostly so his Dad would stop grilling him on work, it had the opposite effect.

"Mr. and Mrs. Crawford, this is Elphaba, my…uh…girlfriends." said Fiyero.

"Nice to meet you." they both said and shook Elphaba's hand. She smiled politely at them and Fiyero figured she should smile more often, it made her look pretty.

"So, what's it like being a book publisher?" Mrs. Crawford asked Fiyero.

"Oh, Fiyero's not the book publisher. He's the book publisher's assistant. Elphaba here's the book publisher." said Dirk. Fiyero felt like punching his dad.

"Oh." was all Mr. and Mrs. Crawford said, looking down at their cocktails pointedly.

"Dad, could I speak with you for a moment?" asked Fiyero, pulling his dad to the side. Dirk followed him with a smirk still on his face, "Ok, what is your problem?!" asked Fiyero.

"Ok, first you run off to the Emerald City and we don't see your face for five years, you come back with some girl who's Oz damn green--" Dirk began. Fiyero suddenly became very defensive.

"Shut up!" Fiyero hissed, "You don't know what you're talking about. Elphaba's a great girl. Her skin shouldn't be the only thing you see. So you can just shut up about her. And it doesn't matter if you like her or not. Last I checked, your opinion means nothing to me. So I have no problem telling you that Elphaba and I are getting married." Dirk stared at Fiyero in shock. Fiyero gave him a smug look and stepped into the biggest room, the large living room.

"Everyone!" Fiyero called, "I have an announcement to make!" Everyone looked up and it became quieter as someone shut off the lobby music playing in the background. It was the music that nobody notices until it's turned off, so everyone jumped when the music switched off. Elphaba had managed to squirm away from the Crawford's and was hiding in her corner again. She peeked around the corner to see if what the big commotion was and turned back around only to find herself face to face with another man. She jumped.

"Hey baby," said the guy trying to sound sexy, "You wanna try some of these o'dourves?" he asked.

"No." Elphaba said.

"C'mon, you will like it," he said in a seductive tone.

"I really don't--" she began. He pushed the spinachy stuff in her mouth, it tasted terrible. She chewed it slowly and tried not to spit it out.

"Mm." she pretending to like it and the guy smiled at her. Then she heard Fiyero's voice in the next room.

"Everyone, Elphaba and I are engaged, we're getting married!" he announced. Elphaba chocked and spit out the remainder of the spinach shit on the guys shirt. He didn't seem to notice, just kept smiling at her. She wiped her mouth off and tried to shrink into the corner more. Fiyero looked around the room, "Where is she?" he asked, "Elphaba? Come on out her…sweetheart." Elphaba sighed.

"You don't have to go out there baby, you can just stay here with me." said the man in front of her. She opted for leaving the corner. She poked her head around the corner and everyone cheered as she slowly walked into the living room, smiling forcibly.

"There it is." Fiyero pointed to her and put his arm around her shoulders, but she still kept a good distance between them. Lisa and Caroline looked very happy and excited.

"Tell us the story!" Galinda called out, sitting on the couch next to Caroline and Lisa.

"What—what story?" asked Elphaba, not liking the attention one bit.

"The proposal story silly!" Galinda chirped, "I mean, every engaged or married couple has one."

"Oh, the proposal story!" Elphaba and Fiyero laughed weakly…they had the worst proposal story in the history of proposal stories.

"You know, this is a story that Elphaba really likes, sweetheart, why don't you tell the story?" Fiyero moved away from the center of the room and sat down next to Galinda. Elphaba glared at him.

"Fine." she muttered, "Ok so…um…Fiyero and I had been dating for a while…and I was pretty sure we were ready for the next step, until one day, what do you know? I was at our place and his cellphone started ringing, and it turned out, he'd forgotten it. So I went to answer it, but it was a text message and it had an address on it. So of course, Fiyero being Fiyero, I was pretty sure he was cheating on me." everyone in the room murmured to each other and the guys gave Fiyero appraising looks while the girls shook their head sat him. Fiyero glared at Elphaba who smiled sweetly at him. He decided it was time to intervene.

"Actually, the address was to a restaurant honey, I wanted to meet you for dinner remember?" said Fiyero.

"Oh right, right." Elphaba said, "Which is why you texted your own phone and the address was to the marriot hotel." Everyone 'ooed' and Lisa and Caroline exchanged confused glances. Elphaba continued as Fiyero sat back down defeated, "So I went to the marriot to tell him it was over, but on my way out the door, an envelope was slipped under the door containing the key to the hotel room. So anyway, I went there and I opened the door with the key and I saw him, kneeling--"

"I was standing--" Fiyero interjected.

"On a bed of rose petals." Elphaba ignored him. Everyone 'awed' at this and Elphaba smiled evilly at Fiyero, "And he had a white dove on his shoulder with the most beautiful ring attached to its ankle and he sent it to me, but he must have not trained it very well because the bird got confused because it went the opposite direction and crashed into the window, swallowed the ring, chocked and died." Everyone made tragic sympathy noises, whatever that sound it, "So the ring was gone, but that didn't stop Fiyero, no, he's my little trouper he is, so instead he presented me with the cutest little empty box I'd ever seen. I opened it and inside were these little hand cut paper heart confetti's, it was beautiful. And under all that crap… I mean, heart, there was this huge giant…nothing. But that was enough for me, all I needed was the love. I didn't need a ring--" Elphaba was sounding way too sarcastic and cynical now and Fiyero didn't want everyone to know she was lying.

"So then I said, 'Elphaba, will you marry me?' and she said, 'yep' and that's how it ended." Fiyero said quickly. Everyone awed and clapped and cheered. Lisa and Caroline still looked a little confused and perturbed.

"Well that's just… lovely." said Lisa.

"Hey Fiyero, kiss her!" yelled Drew.

"What? No." said Fiyero and Elphaba at the same time. Everyone 'awed' at their synchronization and Fiyero and Elphaba gagged in their minds.

"Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her!" Everyone began chanting, even Lisa and Caroline joined in. Fiyero sighed and turned to Elphaba.

"Ugh, just do it, really quick." she murmured. He pecked her quickly and they both turned away.

"No, give her a real kiss!" Caroline barked. Fiyero and Elphaba were actually a little intimidated by the little old lady. Fiyero looked at Elphaba.

"Ready for a real one?" he asked in a cocky tone. Elphaba glared at him. And he grinned in return. He leaned in and captured her lips in a _real_ kiss this time. He felt like he was in some cheesy romantic movie because everyone else faded and it was just him and Elphaba in the room. He felt full of energy and…something else…it was some foreign feeling he didn't have time to look up, but Oz, it felt good. He was about to deepen the kiss when she pulled away abruptly. He leaned in, ready to kiss her again, but she shook her head subtly so only he could see and he stopped. Suddenly he heard noises in the background and people too. His moment was over and the feeling was gone. All he wanted to do now was kiss her again, but she had already moved away.


	6. Ham, Ducks and Kitties, oh my

**(A/N: hey guys! I finished my story He's A She? which was really big for me, so now I have time to work on my other stories more. I'm already thinking of posting another story, but I don't want to get jumbled and have too many, but I really like the story and I"ve already written a first chapter...I'll probably post it. Anyhu, if you've seen the movie, the end of this chapter she looses her phone by throwing it at a hawk and she tries to like...feed the dog to the hawk and I just don't picture Elphaba as doind that to a dog, so I changed it up a bit. Tell me if you like. )**

The party finally ended and Lisa ushered the couple upstairs to their bedroom. She walked into a giant room. There was a large bed with a plush comforter and pillows. There were large windows and French doors leading out to a small balcony. There was a bathroom a few armchairs and loveseats, a fireplace and a small table and an ottoman.

"Wow." said Elphaba as she walked in, "This is nice. This is really nice Mrs. Tiggular."

"Please, Elphaba, call me Lisa." Lisa chuckled. Elphaba gave her a polite smile and Fiyero rolled his eyes.

"So, where is Fiyero going to sleep?" asked Elphaba.

"Oh honey, we're not under any pretenses that you two haven't slept together." Caroline laughed, "He'll sleep in here with you…in the bed…it's a big bed…you know…in case you need some space to…roll around…" she wiggled her eyebrows and Elphaba felt like she was going to throw up.

"Well we certainly like to snuggle." said Fiyero to break the tension. Elphaba glared at him.

"Yeah." she said sarcastically, "We're big snugglers." she crossed her arms.

"Well good!" Caroline said, "And in case you get even MORE cold, there's this special blanket in the closet." she pulled out a blanket and handed it to Elphaba.

"Why is it special?" asked Elphaba.

"It has magical powers." said Caroline, wiggling her eyebrows again, "I call it the Baby Maker." Elphaba yelped and threw the blanket at Fiyero. It hit him in the head and sat on his shoulders.

"Why'd you give it to me?!" he yelled, throwing the blanket on the bed.

"Don't throw it on the bed!" Elphaba shrieked. She and Fiyero made a mad dash for the blanket and threw it on the floor. Caroline was laughing her head off and Lisa looked confused.

"Um, we should go now Caroline, let them get some sleep." said Lisa.

"Goodnight!" Caroline wiggled her eyebrows as she walked out, "Goodnight!"

"'night." Elphaba murmured discomfortingly, "Merry sleeping." Once Lisa and Caroline were gone, Elphaba turned to Fiyero.

"You're not sleeping with me." said Elphaba.

"Like I'd want to!" Fiyero snapped. He grabbed a blanket that wasn't the baby blanket and set it on the floor and pulled out an extra pillow too. Elphaba was surprised he was just automatically letting her have the bed. She didn't say thank you though, or she might ruin it. She walked over to her bag and got her pajamas out and went to the bathroom to change. Fiyero changed while Elphaba was in the bathroom. When she came out, she wore a black camisole and black shorts. Fiyero couldn't help but stare. She turned around to him.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing." said Fiyero, trying to sound nonchalant, "You look nice."

"Uh huh." Elphaba said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Fiyero rolled his eyes back and Elphaba somehow resisted the urge to roll her eyes because then she'd just look stupid and of course then he'd roll his eyes again and pretty soon their eyes would both fall out.

"It was a compliment!" Fiyero said, "Hasn't anyone ever complimented you before?"

" Fiyero, let's just go to sleep." said Elphaba. She got into the bed and slipped beneath the warm comforter. Fiyero wanted to protest. But he figured it was useless so he just rolled back over and went to sleep.

************

Elphaba woke to the ringing of her blackberry cell phone. She sat up straight in bed and looked around, forgetting where she was for a moment, one look at Fiyero on the floor and she remembered. She went to grab her phone, while trying to stay in the bed at the same time. She reached across to where her bag lay on the ottoman…oh she almost had it—just a little closer---

"OW!" Elphaba yelled as she fell out of the bed ungracefully. Fiyero looked up startled. He saw Elphaba on the ground and smirked.

"Come to join me?" asked Fiyero, "You'll find the floor quite comfy and snuggly, just like us."

"Oh shut up." Elphaba hissed as she grabbed her phone. She pressed the TALK button.

"Hello?" she asked, "Oh! Gale!" she exclaimed into the phone, "Yes, yes! What? I'm sorry…yeah, the reception here is terrible! Uh huh…could you say that again?—hello? _HELLO_?!" Elphaba was practically screaming into the phone.

"Elphaba!" Fiyero hissed.

"Just a minute Gale!" said Elphaba. She picked up a robe on the floor that just happened to be Fiyero's and slipped it on. Fiyero went right back to sleep as she slipped out of the room. She quickly went downstairs and made her way outside.

"Hello? Gale?" she kept saying, "Oh yes! Yes! Ok, I'm so glad you're considering doing the um…Wizard show, he can really help with the publicity, we'll sell millions more copies." as she talked, she didn't notice how the hill got suddenly much steeper. She tripped and began tumbling down the hill. She was able to stop herself at the last minute but she dropped her phone as she went to pick it up, she tripped over a rope and kicked her phone into the lake.

"SHIT!" she yelled. She got all tangled in the rope as she made her way back up the hill. When she got to the top she focused on getting untangled but couldn't seem to get untangled. Caroline and Lisa watched from the window, sipping hot chocolate.

"Oh look, she's playing jump rope." said Caroline happily.

"Oh how adorable!" Lisa said. They watched Elphaba 'jump rope' and tried to hear what she was saying. Through the glass they could faintly hear her.

"Did she just say: ham and duck his bill it's duckling licked me?" asked Lisa, confused. Caroline shook her head.

"No, no sweetheart, I think she said: damn this fucking hill, it fucking tripped me." said Caroline.

"Oh." said Lisa, "I guess that makes more sense." They both turned as they heard Fiyero come down the stairs.

"What's going on?" he asked. He looked out the window, "Oh." he said.

"Look, Elphaba's playing jump rope! Isn't it so cute?" asked Lisa, smiling at Fiyero.

"Sure." said Fiyero watching as Elphaba fought to detangle herself. He rolled his eyes at the idiotic scene she was making. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he heard her shout something, "Did she just say: kitty gills are chucking kitties this morning?" he asked.

"No, no." said Caroline, she looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, "I believe she said: shitty hills are fucking shitty this morning."

"Oh." said Fiyero and Lisa, light bulbs blinking on in their minds.

"Fiyero, will you got out and get her?" asked Lisa, "We're taking her out today, just me, Caroline and Galinda, only girls. Sorry, you're not invited." Fiyero rolled his eyes. He walked outside.

"Um, Elphaba, what are you doing?" asked Fiyero.

"Well, I dropped my phone in the lake and then I tripped and got all tangled in this rope, and now I'm trying to get untangled from this--" Elphaba said as she fought to get the rope untwisted from her. Fiyero sighed and went up to her and detangling her quickly.

"Thank you." said Elphaba stiffly.

"Yeah." said Fiyero, "I would've just let you stay out here looking like an idiot but my mom and grandma wanna take you out for some girl fun or something." said Fiyero. Elphaba narrowed her eyes.

"Douche." Elphaba snapped.

"Just doing my job." said Fiyero, smiling fakely at her, "Did you hear about my promotion? Douche bag!"

"Well I hope they pay you what you're worth." Elphaba said sarcastically, crossing her arms.

"Millions baby!" said Fiyero. He suddenly looked out of the corner of his eye and saw Caroline and Lisa there, looking confused. From the window he figured he and Elphaba looked like they were fighting. Fiyero sighed and knew he had to make a big show of 'making up' with Elphaba.

"Here, just give me a hug and you can go inside and get ready for your day with Caroline and Lisa." said Fiyero, trying to be reasonable, "They think we're fighting, we have to make up."

"I'm not hugging you." said Elphaba.

"Fine, I'll hug you." said Fiyero. He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly so she couldn't squirm away. He let his hand wander down…Elphaba didn't hug him back, her arms were still crossed tightly across her chest.

"You touch my ass one more time and I will cut your balls off in your sleep." she said calmly. Fiyero shrugged.

"Fair enough." he said and released her.

"We clear?" asked Elphaba.

"Uh…yeah." said Fiyero.

"Good." Elphaba said. She pretended to caress his face and then hit the side of his face that Caroline and Lisa couldn't see. Fiyero rolled his eyes, he probably deserved that.


	7. Honey?

**(A/N: Here's my dead story, which I have revived in favor of my boredom on a snow day. So here it be! Enjoy)**

Walking through the Vinkus was certainly not an easy feat, especially when green. Not only did natives of the country treat every new face like it was the second coming of the late Kumbricia herself, but meeting a _green _stranger was even more of a mind-blowing experience for the homely folk. Every where she went, people had to stop and ask who she was and where she hailed from and blah blah blah. And every time she had to explain as convincingly as she could that she was marrying Fiyero Tiggular. Their sugary congratulations were starting to give Elphaba diabetes she thought.

It was now as she sat in a store while Lisa and Caroline went off in search of matching shoes for some outfit they had purchased for her that she became aware of the vulture like women in the store that had been staring at her since she'd walked in.

"_You're _marrying Fiyero Tiggular?" a girl wearing a purple shirt squealed, practically diving into the seat with Elphaba. Elphaba jumped.

"Um, yes-" she managed to choke out in her surprise.

"No way." another girl exclaimed, plopping onto Elphaba's other side. Elphaba found herself sandwiched awkwardly even as two more girls joined the crowd. This is why she hadn't joined a sorority, she thought bitterly.

"You're so young!"

"And green!"

"You're nothing like Galinda." a girl pointed out.

"What does that have to do with-" Elphaba started.

"Fiyero like totally loved Galinda back when they were dating." one explained, "They were inseparable. They were even going to get married. It's so totally weird that he likes you now. Cause you're _nothing _like her." Elphaba couldn't understand why this new knowledge made her feel so bad.

"But you're pretty!" a girl said supportively at Elphaba's fallen face.

"Yeah! In your own way." another shrugged.

"A little make-up and-"

"No, it's not the make-up, it's the hair."

"Yeah, you should style it differently."

"Wait, so what's Fiyero Tiggular like in bed? Is it true he's a complete mad-man?" squeals were heard on all sides of Elphaba and she turned bright red at the question.

"We uh-" she stammered.

"Oh, don't tell me you're both waiting till after the wedding," A girl moaned, affronted.

"That's so romantic!"

"How cute!" the others squealed. Elphaba felt her ear drums thrumming painfully as their squeals reverberated in her head. She was one step away from blowing their heads off.

"You know guys, I really must be going…" Elphaba slipped away from the crowd of girls as they argued about whether waiting to sleep with your fiancé till after the wedding was romantic or stupid.

"Like if you wait till after, they could be really bad in bed and then what are you going to do? A marriage with bad sex? I mean come _onnnn_-"

Elphaba made a dash for the exit, forgetting momentarily about Caroline and Lisa. She ran for the door, but not without first running head long into Galinda.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Elphaba hurriedly said.

"It's fine, are you okay?" Galinda asked. Elphaba nodded, catching her breath. She stole herself a glance at Galinda. She was beautiful. She was blonde and pretty and…nothing like her. They were right. Fiyero had been in love with her. They were going to get married! Oz…was it her fault they weren't?

"It's Galinda right?" Elphaba asked awkwardly.

"Yeah, and you're Fiyero's fiancé." Galinda smiled. Elphaba winced.

"Yeah." she said, her voice small, "Galinda…I…"

"Elphaba, I'm his ex, there's nothing to worry about." Galinda assured her hurriedly, "We're done." Elphaba nodded. She had meant to apologize. But what was she supposed to say? Sorry I'm stealing your man because I don't really love him and I'm basically bribing and blackmailing him to marry me so that I won't get deported and can keep my job?

"Well…what happened between you two?" she couldn't help but ask.

"We were close you know. We loved each other a lot." Galinda said and Elphaba looked down guiltily.

"I heard." she said.

"He asked me to marry him even." Galinda looked down, staring at the ring finger with no ring.

"You said yes." Elphaba stated, the pit in her stomach growing deeper and deeper.

"I said no." Galinda said, "He had all these dreams about, giving up his title, eloping to the Emerald City and-" Galinda sighed, "It was too much. I've never been anywhere but the Vinkus. I wasn't suited for the city, I didn't want any of the things he wanted." Galinda shrugged sadly, "So he left the next day and went to work in the Emerald City. He never came back, I guess you didn't give him too many days off." she smiled at Elphaba. Elphaba managed a queasy smile, but the guilt was weighing down on her like a boulder.

"No, I guess I didn't." Elphaba looked down at her hands, green.

"But I'm happy for you two." Galinda said, touching Elphaba's shoulder, "It's good Fiyero finally has someone." Elphaba felt like she was going to be sick. All this kindness was making her feel awful, like a surplus does of fluffy pink mousse. Thankfully, the posse of gossipers crowded the two before Elphaba could say anything.

"Oh there you are!"

"Oh you just ran off!"

"Hey look, it's Galinda!"

"We were just talking about you!"

Elphaba felt a migraine coming on and she gently tried to detach herself from the group, but before she had the chance, she was saved by her seemingly 'mad-man' fiancé. He rested a hand on her shoulder and she looked up.

"Hello honey." he said casually, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. Elphaba grimaced a smile.

"Yeah." she murmured in acknowledgment.

"Ladies," Fiyero addressed the oggly-eyed bunch, "You should probably lay off my fiancé a little, she's got a mild case of sociophobia." Fiyero flashed a charming smile.

"I do not!" Elphaba turned around, hand raised to punch him. Fiyero skillfully evaded the hit by grabbed her hand and interlocking their fingers.

"Sweety, not in public." Fiyero joked, "Wrestling can wait for tonight, right?" Elphaba narrowed her eyes at him and swiftly untangled her hand from him.

"Yeah," Elphaba said, laying a gentle hand on his face, "You'd better wear protection."

"Whoa there tiger." Fiyero almost blushed as he jerked away from her caress.

"And I'm not talking about a condom." Elphaba murmured as she stalked away from the crowd, angrily. The others stared after her confused. Fiyero disentangled himself and ran after her.

"Elphaba!" he called, jogging as she stormed ahead of him, "Elphaba, wait up!" she finally stopped, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"What?" she hissed menacingly. Fiyero came to a stop next her, wheezing and panting as he bent over to catch his breath. Elphaba threw her arms up, "For the love of Oz!" she exclaimed, "Fiyero, you ran like two yards, not a marathon."

"Ah, my stomach!" Fiyero cried, clutching his stomach.

"Fiyero, there is nothing-"

"AGH!"

"Fiyero, are you okay?" Elphaba was suddenly very concerned and she leaned down in front of him. He sprang up, seemingly fine again.

"Good, now that you're not mad at me-" he grinned.

"Jerk!" Elphaba stood up and hit him on the shoulder, "I was seriously concerned-"

"I know." Fiyero beamed, proud of himself, "It's a wonder I never made it to Ozwood."

"A wonder indeed." Elphaba snapped, "And just for your information, I am still mad at you." she began to walk away again. Fiyero jogged next to her.

"What? Why?" he asked, "What did I even do?"

"Fiyero, you embarrassed me back there-!" Elphaba began, stopping so she could turn around to face him.

"I what?" Fiyero breathed in disbelief.

"You called me a sociopath-"

"Sociophobic." Fiyero corrected her.

"Then you blatantly accused me of trying to sex you up right in the middle of the street because I was too eager to wait till we got home!" Elphaba whisper-shouted.

"Sex me up?" Fiyero's eyebrow rose as he fought a grin, "That's a delicate way to put it."

"Well there was nothing delicate about any of what you said back there." Elphaba hissed, crossing her arms as she turned away from him. Fiyero sighed and took a step closer, resting his hands on her shoulders and spinning her around to face him.

"Honey, listen-" he began.

"We are not really engaged, do not call me that!" Elphaba snapped moodily.

"Honey-" he said again. Elphaba huffed and rolled her eyes, but otherwise remained silent as she looked up at him. Fiyero gently unfolded her arms so he could hold both of her hands, "—I'm sorry." he said sincerely, "I didn't mean to embarrass you, okay?"

"Fine." Elphaba huffed, looking away.

"Aw, look at us, fighting and making up, just like a real couple." Fiyero grinned, poking her nose. Elphaba slapped his hand away and stormed away again. Fiyero sighed, "And we're back to fighting." he jogged after her, "Hey, Elphaba! Wait up! C'mon, sweetheart!"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"

"Honey?"

* * *

**(A/N: thanks for reading :)**


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